Sorry everyone, 
I have been in a state of complete and utter apathy for a while, and have barely typed anything.
So since it may still be a while before red apple/green apple/Dr. Jack on vacation/etc, etc, etc comes out, I thought I would treat you all to part of a letter that I had written about my adventures in 2009.

Without further B.S., here it is:
(since I am so apathetic, I haven’t bothered to do any corrections, just think of it as a personal letter from me to you..)

2009

I got a job working in construction, on the black(under the table), and got a car(fixed it up), got a caravan (5 metres long all equipped except hot water)(fixed it up), fell in love with an old decrepit barn owned by the family of friends and socked away a couple of grand in the hopes of eventually buying it.
so the first part of the year was work, watching peoples houses/animals (for food, booze, and a bit of cash), started surfing the dating sites and hooked up with an older chick, English, living by Montpelier (on the Mediterranean).
summer went by as a whirlwind of work, parties, traveling back and forth (5+hours) to see my chick in Montpelier oh, and my savings started a gentle decline.
I found out she (Za – short for Lisa) was an evangelist, OK by me since she didn’t seem to be too weird, she was well off in property, she has two stores side by side and the idea was that I would help her to fix up the one to rent (she was low on cash in pocket) (I would be working hard for just a little money) and once we finished the one, I would take over the other (small boutique below, apartment above, both witch had been gutted by her and a worker) and fix it up in exchange for rent of the boutique which I was going to transform into a computer repair shop!
wow!! what a gift from the universe! I needed to keep working so I could eventually buy this barn I wanted, I would work for her, have a girlfriend right there, be in a new place, start another computer business, live in a fabulous area, what a storybook dream come true!!!!!!
hummm….
so, preparing to move my whole life to the coast of the Mediterranean sea, she invited me to come to an evangelists camp in a few weeks. 
OK I said. 
then she said that she didn’t feel comfortable making love, because evangelists are not supposed to have sex until they are married.
OK I said.
she said that for the evangelists camp, she had invited several friends over to stay at her house so just to make sure there was no problems she would like it if I stayed in another room (her house was big, one huge apt. on the first floor – two story tall ceilings, then on the next floor up two fairly large apts. to rent and on the very top floor another smaller studio apt. with shower but no kitchen– that was the one I stayed in) she rarely rented the rooms, one person long term on the second floor but very intermittently rented the others.)
OK I said.
So a week long evangelist camp, 500 evangelists in a campsite, me sleeping just outside her caravan in a tent sort of part that was attached to the caravan (it was like sleeping in a real tent) because it wouldn’t be right to sleep in the caravan with her, since she was an evangelist.
the first day of the camp I went to have a smoke (ya, I still smoke) and couldn’t see anyone else smoking and I got this weird feeling (writers imagination?) so I wandered off into the forest and smoked where no one could see me.
wow. if you have never been to a week long evangelist camp, … it’s something else. I was signed up for a morning session, each day for the ones who were not evangelist or who had ‘lost the faith’ the instructors didn’t take notice of me at first, probably because I seemed to be taking scrupulous notes, but in fact I was taking notes on them, not about what they were saying. (I keep my notes very cryptic, -more writers paranoia?- always finishing a part were I questioned with ‘oh I am probably not right, or I don’t see the whole picture, or maybe I am feeling god’)
the nightly gathering of the 500 evangelists was a thing to see, all the classic ways of group delusional programming, 70-75 years olds jumping up and down like you see 20 year old people in a rave, they had a faith healer from the UK, who was trying to get a good healing, not just the ones saying they no longer had headaches, so closer to the end of the week he had one witness say her son was healed of a heart problem, she (she was in my morning sessions) said they she had re found god and that where she used to suffer from an eye that wandered and she couldn’t see, now she was completely healed and blah blah blah.. I saw her son having a smoke outside the grand tent, I watched from the corner of my eye and he seemed to be evaluating how much money the people who were entering the tent had in their pockets. I seen them the next day talking and it didn’t seem like they were “in the presence of God”, more like they were planning the next big scam…
I left the day before the end of the week, had to go to a big party in the Correze….
the last day(s) that I was there the person leading my morning group started to chat with me and I tried to give all the ‘right’ answers, as someone who was examining the faith, but he wanted to make a convert so while we were speaking I started to get this weird feeling like he could see into my mind, he seemed to have all the answers to the stuff in my head and I was confused for a moment then I realized he was using NLP like a master. matching and pacing, I played for a minute moving my hands/arms slightly, watching him mimic my movements then I did something outrageous like full body stretch and then scratched my ass, my head and ended one arm crossed in front of me and one behind (or something like that) basically in a position that he would have a hard time matching, and his spell was broken. whew!!
so, after the fete in the Correze, I went back to her place, we talked a lot and then we went to bed and had sex then the next morning she said that she was bothered by the fact that she had sinned (sex) but it was almost beyond being able to bear, the fact that she had enticed me to sin. So she asked if we could sleep in separate rooms until, we had become married.
OK I said.
so I talked to her more and more, made sure that we were clear that I would work for her and have the boutique beside for little / and or in exchange for work on the apt upstairs, I had put in a week of work before the camp, when I got back to her place I put in a very hard week and a half taking a layer of concrete off the inside of the walls so the stone was visible, hot dusty jackhammer work, till I was dead tired at the end of each day.
just a couple of days remained before we/I were finished the walls inside, it was a Friday, there was a huge festival in the city (Pezenas) and just before we went out she thought it would be good to tally up my work so far.
so, she said that the time before the camp I would give to her for free, then since I was woofing, she felt bad about me having to woof 7 days a week so I should have (by the kindness of her heart) Sunday off, so I just had to put in thirty hours a week to pay my room and board. so, if you calculate that makes about 1200 euros a month+ for room and board, considering she rents the little studio for about 250-300 a month.
of course I had never agreed to woof for her, I had told her that I had woofed for my friend but that it was too expensive in time for me and that is why I started doing construction work again. I also told her that I would not do it again, and that it was a lazy 5 hours a day, 5 days a week.
before when I was staying with her as boyfriend girlfriend, she had someone slash her tires and mine as well. I paid 300 euros for new tires and borrowed half of that from her (150).
so she did the count, miscalculated the hours (multiplication error) then said ” oh, it’s just so confusing all these numbers and stuff” while inside I was wondering if anyone would suspect me if I strangled her on the spot, dumped her body in her car and set it on fire outside of the house…..
brief, two and a half week of hard work and I had 50 euros to show for it…..
I mentioned the boutique, and how it would be tough to start up my computer business, even not paying rent for the first while and she said “oh, I couldn’t let you have it for nothing (it was gutted, wires hanging, beams supported by metal temp. posts) it just wouldn’t be right, I would have to get three or four hundred per month for it…

It is strange, all the myriad ways to do away with someone, and even stranger how calm we can be when we consider each in turn while staring into the face of that someone.

I resolved to pack up all my stuff and run!!!
I we went to the festival, I drank too much, she left early and I didn’t get up till the next day. I called from her apt. (free telephone) to you, dad, Brian, saying how I was so confused and how I wasn’t sure if I would stay here or what (that was in September 2009).
Saturday she refused to let me have any aspirin unless I ate, I did the calling and went back to my room, she came to visit and I said I was confused I needed time to work it out and that I wasn’t sure if I would leave tomm. for example, that’s how confused I said I was. “But you won’t leave before the walls are finished, will you?” she kept pestering me so I left to have a smoke, she got caught trying to follow me out on the balcony when her only renter came up the stairs.
she said we could go dump the trailer load of rubble on Sunday morning.
I sat watching movies in bed, all of the rest of Saturday, planning how I would pack all of my stuff in as little number of boxes as possible so I could get them out the door and into my car as quickly as possible.
she left me a voice mail message on my phone ” listen Bret, if you stay to finish the walls, you don’t have to pay any rent, and you can pay what you think it is worth for the food.” 
just before I had got that message I had written her off as not worth the effort, the only thing I wanted was to get out without her stabbing me, biting me, calling up a gang of evangelists in white hoods to ??, but when I got that message, I knew anyone else would have gone right downstairs, bashed her into a bloody pulp, pissed on what was left and risked being a fugitive for the rest of their lives.
I just laughed, then caught myself, for I didn’t want her to hear me… I locked and blocked the door, as soon as I got up Sunday before coffee, before bathroom or anything, I packed the boxes carried them out to my car, she was nowhere to be found! I had three trips to make second trip OK, I was going to be in the clear, a clean getaway, the last load and I opened the front door and came face to face with her.
“I told you you would be one of the first to know, I have decided to go back to Canada.”
I pushed past her while she repeated ” but I don’t understand, what about my walls, I don’t understand…”
I left. I was so shit scared that she would try to chase me, my car had hydraulic shocks which got stuck if it was sitting a long time, so I left with the equivalent of no shocks. 500+ kilometers with the car banging in front at every little bump… I was so freaked that I took the wrong way, I circled back when I found out but took the long way around to avoid Pezenas and tried to take a little shortcut around Montpelier but got screwed up again and found myself, (shocks had started to work) sweating bullets and back in her home town.
“Bret, if your life is to end here, so be it. if this is to be your last day, then that will have been your destiny, and it just is, and accept it… “
I got back to the Correze, fist thing I went straight to where lea was working (we thought we would not be able to say good bye before she left for st. Nazaire) and sat with her telling her the story of my latest adventures. I left a message for the evangelist saying that I borrowed the money and had a flight to Canada from Paris the next day, have a nice life, blah blah, blah.
For months after I was freaked out whenever I saw a car like her’s, she had come to visit me in the Correze and knew some of my friends houses…..

I had less work(others took my place) I watched houses/animals, borrowed a vacation house of a friend, stayed in a gite, then in a house next to a gallery of art (from the fellow who made the pink floyd’s giant pig)

So that was 2009…… almost….